“No no, we don’t believe in magic, that’s all nonsense and none of the younger generation believe in it anymore. Some older people still believe in the superstitions and some rural areas even practice healings still, but we only believe in Western medicine.” *pause* “Unless someone you know has cursed you. In which case you have to go to the witch doctor to get cured.” - Chicken Legs, guy who took us around Lilongwe and showed us to the witch doctor
So there have been few moments during this summer when I have very much wanted to be back home. Today is one of them. As some of you may know, final movie in the Harry Potter heptology (or octology as it ended up being) is out and I’m not around to get dressed up and act foolish for it. I am a reasonably big fan of the HPott series which has led me to attend every midnight premiere I’ve been able to attend, so to miss the final installment is no small loss to my psyche. So as a marginally relevant segway to a slightly interesting blog post, I’ll turn my angsty longing into a few tidbits of info on magic here in Malawi.
In Mpherembe, I happen to live rather close to a once prestigious witch doctor. I’ve had a chance to visit him a couple times and it’s been rather interesting. Here’s how it works; healings are typically Saturday evening to Sunday morning, though I’ve heard the drumming going on Fridays and I’m told this happens in instances of popular demand. Around 8 PM on Saturday, people begin to head towards his house and make their way into a church-ish building on his property where the diagnoses are held. It’s called the temple, and it’s pretty simple with four walls, a roof and a bonfire in the middle of it all. When I headed over at 8, things were far from starting so I wandered around with the kids for a bit before being invited to go hang out with the Maunda, the witch doctor as he got prepared for the night. When I came in, he had recently donned his witch doctoring outfit which consisted of some red short shorts and a red tank top with crosses on the front and back (I’m assured he is in no way affiliated with the Christian church). He was sorting through some bells and putting them on strings to tie around his ankles as well as the ankles of the dancers involved. Apparently there’re dancers involved.
Once all the preparation was done and Maunda had let the anticipation build sufficiently, we headed to the temple to get the show on the road. I found myself a nice corner to watch from and settled into the hot, sweaty room full those longing to be cured of what ails them. Images of “Fight Club” flashed through my head. Maunda didn’t come in at first and the event was kicked off with some ground rules and the price list. A diagnosis by the good doctor would cost you 200 kwacha ($1.30), a diagnosis along with the traditional medicine to fix you up is 600 kwacha ($4) and a diagnosis, medicine plus a note from Maunda to your village head would cost the astronomical fund of 6000 kwacha ($40).
Apparently village heads, who are often called upon to make judgments regarding animosity in their villages, will sometimes rule that one or the other party in a case they’re presented with will have to visit the witch doctor to get cured. The village head then requires proof that the sentence was completed so Maunda will write you a note. Smells like a bit of a scam if you ask me, but who am I to judge.
Once the ground rules have been set, the drumming begins. There’re usually three drummers beating a tune and one main dancer at the center of the circle who seems to be entranced for much of the time. I wasn’t able to figure out exactly what purpose the drumming and dancing have to do with the healing, but I believe it involved getting the spirits flowing and setting the vibe for what was to come. After a while and quite a few dances, Maunda makes his entrance and the diagnoses begin. How it works is that if you need healing, you come and talk to one of Maunda’s assistants. You don’t say what’s wrong with you, just that you want to be healed. So you get in line and when the healing begins you wait your turn to approach the doctor. When you’re up, you kneel in front of Maunda and the drumming takes off. Maunda tosses and sways over you, accessing the spirits floating about your head and causing you harm. In this way, he figures out what your trouble is and if his diagnosis matches your ailment, he’ll prescribe something to fix you up. For a fee of course.
This goes on for the entire night, and I literally mean the entire night. I started dozing around 10 so we headed home, but the next morning I went back with my host brother around 8 AM and they were still at it.
Magic/traditional medicine comes up in other forms too. At the market, there will always be one or two guys with piles of various roots and bottles of various concoctions to fix you up. There’s regular news articles about witch doctors who can fly from Malawi to South Africa or North America and back in a night. And everyone lives in fear of moving about at night since there is an entire army of spirits and beings out to do you harm. Everyone I’ve met seems to believe in some element of superstition, magic or spirits. For me personally, my belief manifests itself in a young British kid, marked by the dark lord at birth as his equal, neither of whom can live while the other survives.
Magically yours,
Fraser
